I was Thinking, or Not

Just a little lesson before I go, well I am not really going anywhere soon, but you know it sounded good in my head. Anyway here is a little bit of advice.  Be careful who you talk to, they just might be smarter than you, I know I have run aground this many times myself.  While it is generally good to converse with those that are smart, getting into a debate with them is an exercise in futility.  Of course there are times when we all need such a humbling experience, and as a student of life, I welcome such discord, it reminds me of who I really am. Well that is about it, just a little thing to keep you thinking, because when the mind stops turning the heart will have no reason to go on pumping blood to the brain.

Whilst I am on a roll, I might as roll with it... hmm, let us play with this scheme. The birds are in the counting house, counting out there troubles, while the king is in the pantry, shooting syrup and honey.  The maid is in the way, and she will have no suitor, for the queen is secretly desiring her long lost first desiring.  And I am sitting in the tower, with fools for which there is tiring, for there were no remorse for his majesties humor retiring.  The princess and the prince, poor sots, are the ones that learn to fall from the grace that should they be supporting. I look upon these fools before me, and wonder how they wail, with their tongues cut out they moan so loud it did not serve it purpose.  You must be dumb to have come to this place with earnest, for nothing is true, it is all reviewed by the countess and her cooky.  The lamb is dead, he is offered to the pheasant and the serpent, but the lion lives, for the time it seems, by hiding in the t...

It is almost 6:30 in the morning and here I sit waiting for the coffee, and wondering why do I do nothing all the time.  My nothing is interspersed with a few things here or there, a load of dishes, taking the dogs out, feeding the sheep, those sorts of things, but most of the time it is just nothing, a whole lot of nothing. We all do too much nothing.  I notice that with everyone one I meet.  I ask them what is up, they say nothing really, just the same old thing, a whole lot of nothing.  We all want to seem busy, but we really do not know how to be really busy.  We are unoccupied, even at our jobs, we are not tasked with much more than just sitting there doing nothing that matters anyways. I remember reading in the Tao "do nothing and nothing will be undone" and for the life of me I could not figure out what the hell that meant.  It took me a long time of contemplating it before I really began to even get the most rudimentary understanding of the mea...

Merry Elfing Christmas to me, since no one would buy me anything from my Steam wishlist, when Skyrim went on 24 hour sale today for $4.99, I bought it for myself.  I know that was selfish and all, since we can not buy anyone else Christmas gifts, and we need every penny for paying our land payment, but sometimes you have to just do what have to do to get by, and owning Skyrim for me is what I have to do. So you can all just quit your bitching, because I will pay for it later, and I just do not care.  Stupid little thing, wish I could have gotten it from someone, but since there is no one who would do such a thing for me, I must do as I must for myself once in a while. Now I have to work twice as hard to make up the difference.  How about you all donate $5.00 to the cause, and we will send everyone something, I do not know what, maybe a bar of soap, or maybe something else, a copy of my book of crappy poetry, who knows, I am sure it will be something that will be wort...

For some reason the whole God thing has come up a lot today, like it has to be dealt with.  While I am slowly churning through the information that is available to me through the various sources, the truth is I guess I have to at least address this from my own perspective for the moment. I do not actually understand the God.  I can understand how it could be created, but I do not understand how it still has any value to people.  I do get that there is something that is significant about this world we live in, but that it is something more than just a unlikely coincidence is far too unlikely.  Think for a second how unlikely is your birth, with one egg and perhaps half a million sperm, the pairing that makes you happened.  If that is not enough evidence of random choice, I do not know what else can be said. If it were not for the evidence to the contrary, I would not have such an opinion.  The God should reign in his minions as they are so far out there...

I was going to write on some of this, but I am just not in the mood to tackle such subject, being more in the mood to rant about things that are far less meaningless. Of note I have discovered something I already knew, I need to have a place where no one can reach me to write, because I can not stand the interruptions, and no one, not chatters on the web, not people calling on the phone, not even my lovely wife, or dogs can seem to understand that I do not want to be disturbed when writing.  It aggravates me to the point where I will give up writing entirely.  I do not at this time know how to deal with this, but as it is, I will strive to get up early, and write first thing in the morning, so I can at least not harbor such feelings towards my wife. I would have been a great writer had I never decided that I needed to be part of this fucked up society.  Being that the case, I will have to learn a new behavior, and modify the way I live to accommodate the conditions o...

From the Line of Shit Department: Boeing 737 Factory to Move to Clean Energy Now really the headline alone is out of context, and if you only read the headline, you would not get the rest of the story, you would really think that they are going to clean up their act. And now the rest of the story , or as much as is needed. " Boeing said it plans to buy renewable energy credits to replace fossil-fuel power at the factory in Washington state where it assembles its 737 commercial airplanes. " There you have it, the truth, they are not doing what they say, they are buying credits from the government so they can do whatever they please.  Nice gesture, and I am certain it will give "joy joy feelings" to everyone who is interested in "green business", but there is very little in the reality of actual clean energy there, just payola. Another Quote: " The aerospace company and the utility, Puget Sound Energy, said the plan will move the ...

At what point does it just stop being.  I am certain I can feel it winding down, but I just don't know to what.  I think maybe that we are headed to a deeper meaning of oppression than ever has been known on this planet, at least in our recorded history. The more I look around the more I realize that the tyranny that we have known in the past is but a taste of what is to come.  That the golden rule has yet to be applied in the manor that it will be applied in the future.  I just wonder when that will be applied, there is not enough information to determine this.  I do not think it will matter how much money you have, but that may help some, so the amassing of money may be important, it might not be.  I am thinking that gold might be important, but even that might not make much difference, unless you have a way to protect it. The signs are aligning as such to show me that we have not seen the worst of it yet.  That we will at least see yet another ...

This has some things that concern the farm as well, but in general it really is just me bitching for no good reason. This is how I think things through, by writing them out, so I can get the thoughts out of the stream of my mind which is almost always murky and clouded with ordinary thoughts. So… while this does not seem like anything to anyone else, it is a stream of thought that to me represents the closest I can get to clarity. That said I am thinking about the eBay and Amazon thing.  I have a bunch of stuff here, mostly a lot of old toys that are in fairly rough shape.  While in some cases I am sure that any kid would love these toys (if they were not in the consumer households), but I do not know if they would fair well on ebay.  I am still trying to figure that out.  I do not know a lot about toys in general, I am better versed in antiques.  That said, even there I have only a moderate knowledge, but I do have a greater appreciation, so the knowl...

How in the hell in this material based work a day world do we find peace. I have listened to the gurus and priest, the thinkers and philosophers, and they all say the same thing, let go of desire and you will find peace.  I believe them, I believe that we are all capable of such, but how, when so much is focused on just making ends meet. I have bills to pay, so I have roof over my head, land to till, and food to eat.  Unless I can not pay for those things, I have nothing.  Never mind the bills I pay so I can write on this tablet, post it on the web, well those are luxuries that I prefer, but could do without if I had to.  No matter what that still leaves the house payment, the food, and health care, so how does one find peace when everyone requires such things to just survive.  It is not like I can just live on the land, I must own it first.  Even if I pay off the cost of the land, pay off the bank, I still owe taxes, so there is no such thing as free la...

I spend entirely too much time wondering what others do for their bread, when it really does not matter much at all to me.  I just drive through the rain, and get wet, As long as I still do that which I do, and you all watch this self destructive soul dissolve into insanity, then the entertainment never ends does it.  Would you like to see that, bet you would pay the promoter if he told you I was performing at three. And these fools here do not know the psychopath that lives next door, with his hats and slow words, sometimes big eyes, telling too much.  I look north, would you ride with me, no I won't use breaks, it takes the thrill out of everything. I think maybe you all are well enough paid to understand that I have nothing to give you, because you deserve not my sympathy.  I could do the video thing, but words have always been my thing, but I have abandoned them, in stead of leaving me behind.  I was sore for quite some time after you stung me, but the...

What the fuck are you all doing with your time, wasting it on worthless pursuits for the "All Mighty Dollar", be his holy honor.  Let your gods be what they will, let me alone.  I need none of your sympathy.  If it were not for the pursuit of happiness I would not give a dam, about anyone, but that is not how it turned out.  Now I have commitments and considerations that would not have even mattered before. I am just fucking tired, worn to the bone, with worthless effort.  How much can one clan really expect, for the value of one's own hands.  The value of toast, versus cake, which has more, it makes me just want to brew up some swill beer and just lie down in the mist of I just do not give a shit anymore.  Did I ever?

I spend too much time wondering what is working, when what I need to do is just keep on doing what I do, and let the numbers fall where they lay.  Throw on some real good Jam music, and the world full of things and numbers and money just falls away, and I can focus on what is really important. The blind can see that there is no need for sight to feel.  Sometimes you just have to trust that what you are doing is the right thing.  I see so many people doing so much, most of it is not what it should be, but it is what it is, and that is what they can do.  The days of things being what they should be are gone, it is now a time of doing what one can to just get by.  I know that if I play all those social games, and run around and do those things, that I will earn the respect of a bunch of people I will never really know, and therefore will never really trust.  The issue of trust has come to mind lately, what happened to it.  If you extend trust to someon...

You can definitely tell that technology has reached a plateau, when there really seems to be no real forward progress.  It is either that or it has become imperceptible. "Back in the Day" as I now often say, but hate the statement immediately after I have said it, so really I do not say it anymore, I used to surf a few choice porn sites.  You may ask why am I telling you this, is not this a glaring example of way too much information.  Well the truth is, porn sites have always bored me, and I have always only felt pity for the performers.  I did once carry on a rather lengthy conversation with one performer for a couple of days, even gave her some money once, but then I remembered that she was a performer, and this was all just an act to elicit my not so hard earned cash. So, yea, anyway, I used to surf a few of these sites and look into their code, back when I used to code that is.  They were always on the cutting edge of code, especially for security. ...

Utah to BLM: Rein in your cops | The Salt Lake Tribune : 'via Blog this' I am very concerned with the west, it doesn't look good from here.  I am looking a little more into this.

A Sting in the Desert - Los Angeles Times : 'via Blog this' Read this and answer this, has the BLM lost their fucking mind?  At what point do we as citizens of the USA say we have had enough of civil servants who seem to think they serve someone else other than the people.

Here's a quick post for today, as I try to get better at this blogging she-it. So yea here's the deal, I have no idea what the hell is going on today, but the news is not very good in general around.  I just listen to the talk around, and catch the mainstream crap, and even that does not sound to good.  So yea, I was going to start doing some digging in twitter to see what is going on around. I hear there is some new virus, then there is the whole USSR (oh sorry they are not the Soviet Union any more) Russia Ukraine thing, and well yea the middle east is still a hot spot, and then there is North Korea too.  So what is really going on?  I am going to do some digging, in my spare time, which I do not really have, but because I think it is important to do, I will try to fit it in.  So in the coming weeks I will dig around and see what the hell is going on and give my take on it. Other than that, I still have a few hundred past post to put up, so they wi...

Well. yea, I have been watching Troy (Techman) (which makes really no sense, as he is not really very technical), and his Do It Yourself World website.  I also follow his YouTube channel , and often watch his videos.  I find them sometimes informative, but mostly entertaining, in that same way that you watch someone on TV to see what happens to them. I often think that we should do something like that.  There is another YouTube channel called Misty Prepper , who I also watch quite regularly.  Her channel is more akin to what I am thinking we would do, but different. I like these channels, and the twenty or so others that I view on a regular basis that all deal with essentially the same things.  I wonder how do they do it, other than the equipment side of things, as we are without a means to make videos, how do they all find the time to do it.  I just do not have the time to make videos or post them.  Hell I barely have time to post on the blog, n...

After 2.5 months of waiting for Verizon to finally get their shit together, we now have internet.  I will post all the post I have written since losing the internet when we moved.  This is just a warning.

Inequality and Pay: 'Rents' vs. Merit | Jared Bernstein : 'via Blog this' Now I do not usually take on blog post from the Huffington Post bloggers, but I am going to try and re-read this and figure out what the hell he is getting at with this. I have some pretty strong comments about the inequality, and the idea of merit.  I just thought I would ferret out his post, and see if we have anything in common.

I didn't know where to place this, so I am putting it up here, but I will link to this blog from the Doud Dairy Farm blog, as it seems it also applies to that work as well. Warning : This is a long post, and it will have more to come, so just be prepared to stick with it, or leave before it is done. The making of a table for Arleta to work on has taken on a life of its own, to some degree.  I started with the idea that a trestle table would be about the best, as it would have space under the table so she could sit in either a chair or her wheelchair and work on it.  I wanted to make it adjustable so she could work on it either sitting or standing, but it looks like it would be better to just build two different tables. Still have to figure out a chair pattern for her that will match the height of her wheelchair, and have a foot rest as she will be working at the table some amount of time, and her feet will not reach the ground if it is the same height as the wheelch...

Okay, this should have been under a different blog, so sue me. This is about poetry, more specifically the reading of poetry.  I haven't been to a reading in a while, but recently (as recently as today) I have checked out some clips of local and national readings of poetry, and I think to myself, what the fuck happened man. When I was reading poetry there was some of this active performance art going on, in fact I was part of it.  You think I wore weird clothes and outlandish jewelry in everyday life, well maybe back then I did, but not now.  I look back on my days as a poet, or should I say performance artist, and think wow I must have been drunk, if I at all sounded like the poets I hear now. On looking at the crap I used to try to pass off as poetry to the people who all seemed to think it was awesome, I wonder were they all drunk as well. I have re-read most of the classics now, or am reading some of them now, and think how can anyone compare to this.  T...

Remember I said I was going to get back to this, well I am getting back to it. It has been almost 6 months now that I have used the Parker IM fountain pen, and Noodler's Black ink, and I thought I would just update my readers on my quest to find a good pen. First let me say when I got the pen I was pretty dam impressed with it.  It wrote well, when I first took it out of the package and put the ink cartage in it.  What I did not expect was how heavy it would be on the end when I posted the cap. The pen has a good heft to it, I like that, it feels good and feels real.  Unfortunately I was not prepared for that weight in my hand, and it sent the pen diving to the floor.  Of course it hit the floor nib first, and I have spent the rest of my time using the pen trying to get that original feel back again, to no avail.  I have come close a couple of times, but it is still not quite the same.  I am going to try to pull the nib and see if I can adjust it out...

At the end of the day, homelessness means nothing to me.  Of what use do I need a home, I have no family, I have no friends, and only my words keep me company.  I can always climb back into the bottle and practice the great art of slow deliberate suicide by bottle. It is the love of my life, my beautiful and caring wife Arleta who I strive for.  If not for her I would not most likely be here today to write this, and there are plenty of people who would most likely prefer it was that way. I read the comments, go to social services, or other such services, you don’t think we didn’t consider that.  Even though it pains me to do so, we have, but they have no help for us, especially for us to move away from the services.  The pure ignorance that I run into all the time just makes me ill.  You all say you can’t help others, but you will gladly go to your local church and put $10.00 every week into their coffers.  For what a chance at salvation, reall...