I was Thinking, or Not

I spent some time talking with Mosey, a local member of a local Amish community around where we live now.  He is a very fascinating person, and I find that talking with him I recapture some of that old feeling of being the observer.  I like that, and it reminds me that I can still be outside the self, apart from the people. People used to fascinate me.  They used to be something I would find interest in, but only from a distance.  When I let them get close it destroys the effect, and I have to feel, and that makes it difficult to remain objective.  Objectivity is of utmost importance to me, it allows me to see better, and not be involved with the vision.  I think that may be a psychopathic tendency that is latent in everyone, it only is recognized in some, and in others it can be hyper active, but they do not do well in this world generally, or really well, if they are in the right social cycles. I am careful to understand myself as much as anyone else, so as to ensure that I will

Careful thoughts have gone into this, that I know not of, wonder where it leads, from end to end and if this fantasy that appears like reality is really what it seems. I have listened to the heads of one side and the heads of the other, with very little conclusive results.  There is no God, but that does not negate the existence of gods, such as they are.  Through all of this the use of darkness as a metaphor is often overused, and I do not believe that it signifies much beyond the absence of light, the visible light.  What used to be easy to see, has been clouded by perception and perhaps even by age and cynicism.  Maybe I have chosen to cease to believe in something that at one time appeared to be more real, but not seems like there is no evidence of it at all.  Yet there is still that niggling of a feeling that I am certain that there is something I have forgotten, that only awaits my awaking from the slumber I have chosen to live within. It became rather difficult to continue