I was Thinking, or Not

I am a writer, not a chatterer, so when it comes to doing video, I just do not seem to know what to say.  Words flow like honey wine from my fingers, but I do not seem to have anything to say when I turn the camera on. I can operate the camera fine, I have no issues with the operations of the camera, but  I guess seeing myself in the camera just freezes me up somehow.  I used to perform publically in poetry readings, but that was on a stage I guess, and I was always reading my poems, never actually reciting them, except a few times here and there.  I wonder that if I can not see myself it that would be better.  I do not know because I have never tried it.  When I get the tripod for the new camera, I guess I can try some video work, because I will not be able to see myself, maybe I will be able to do better. I think I could play guitar on video, if only I actually knew how to play guitar.  So here I am writing, and thinking, yea, how do I make videos when I can not seem to make

We certainly are social creatures, that is why social media, and social engineering work so well with us.  It really shows in our use of religion, but that is a subject for another day all together. Peace JD

What knowledge have I of certain things, that come in passes, visions and glances, not to be dismissed, but believe them will I, for what origin have they been given? This solemn thought, and sober care, for is it not that I have given air, but to the views that come from it, as thought is truth, and manifest, if only for the briefest of moments. And I am but the channel through which symbols form upon the stage, arranged in such arrangements as they take, for now am I but the thought, and vision of another, for corporeal I do not know myself to be, but for the notice given me. Only this, is what I see, when presented with the evidence of the human being.

There is something so rare and beautiful about a relationship that you do not realize often without the means for discovery.  Most people will never know a meaningful relationship, they will only realize the loss of one.  This is condition of beauty, of love, of truth, it only bears fruit we know not that we eat until it is gone.  This is the condition of humans, they only recognize the loss, or at least most of them. We have poets and painters, and yet we know not of other than suffering, for it is only through this that we feel the essence of our creation.  After all the suffering and pain has subsided, all that remains is beauty and love, but we humans know this in loss, most often. How strange these mortals be, 

I have always been curious how the medical profession works.  Let me give you an example that illustrates my issue. I was a computer technician for 20+ years, and in that twenty some odd years I have done work for doctors and other medical professionals, plus for hospitals et al.  Here's my thoughts on how that work applies. Let us say that a doctor calls me because his computer is not working.  Now right off the bat he wants me to somehow fix it over the phone, and of course I can not do that, because the doctor knows nothing really about computers, so I can not even walk him through it, and besides he doesn't want that, he just want's his computer fixed.  That is the patient then, and it is very much the same. So I set an appointment.  Now the doctor is certain he is the most important client I have, so there is no reason I can not come right out there immediately to fix his computer, lives are at stake here if he can not look up things on WebMD.  Unfortunately I c

Years I have spent searching outside myself, for good or evil.  Who was driving this pen forward, what muse was manifesting the words inside my head?  Now I see the proximity of my death, I realize there is nothing, only living and not, and everything else is just memory imprinted upon the folds of our brains.  The rational mind is useless, it only does as it is told.  The creative mind is uncontrollable, it invents fantasies for we have not even words yet.  This interplay between mind, thought, reality matter, and energy, all lays out a pattern of behaviors for which we are unaware, for good reasons.  If we were fully aware, we would all be insane, by the definition that the people hold, for nothing would be beyond our grasp.  Your “grip” on reality is all that you have, lose that and the truth is nothing has form, it is all energy and the perception of matter. The sheep do not care for this philosophical bullshit, all they want is food and water, and the chance to do as they ple

Science is the new religion, for what is science but the obfustication of the natural world around us through complication.  Do not be deceived by the seeming openness of science, it is as monitored and coopted as religion, and just as controlled by the same families. To maintain their hold on the populace, they will stop at nothing to persuade all that what you see is what you are, but the truth is rarely so mystical.  There is no mystery here, only existence, and that is fleeting and fragile at best.

I fell asleep last night thinking; what if we could reach a point that we create a black hole, or some other devastating creation, that in the blink of an eye did not only destroy our own existence, but that of the entire universe.  Wouldn't that be wonderful, the crowning achievement of the species of earthlings, that had the most potential for creation, destroyed all of the universe, including quite likely any other life that may in it be contained.  It would be the evidence of our self destructive nature, but it would also wipe away all evidence of our existence, and therefore we would never know.  Would that not be the funniest joke, that we would not know the punchline to the final joke, for we would cease to exist in the same instant as the creation of the new universe we so desperately wish to create, as it would be created out of the destruction of our current one. I am reminded of that old sage advice, be content with your self as you are, for that is all there is, and

Something still bugs me about the videos I have recently watched.  They interpret religion to be a hidden astrology.  This for the most part I do not disagree with.  It is easy enough to believe this as any other rationale for religion, which is oppressive in any form whatsoever.  Still astrology does not answer one question, how is it that we have come to this point, and have changed so little.  I am left empty from the answers that are from the empty space that continues to fill with useless chatter.  Each one trying to gain purchase on the other, science has no answer, nor does blind faith in any mythology, nor does insight, except that which one can divine for oneself in brief moments of clarity. It tumbles in my head, these ideas, these presentations, each one an agenda by the orator, to climb above the chatter, when the answer should be as simple as the natural order.  The human being has placed themselves just outside that order, to touch chaos, to know the creative force, an

I sometimes wonder, but no then I stumble, and fall, and wonder no more, for there is nothing to wonder about.   It seems that I have not forgotten that inebriation, that giddy child, when I know he is dead, left for dead, for there are bills to pay, accounts to balance, and oracles to consult.  Herein lies the query, the jest, as we age, there is no better teacher than our own mirrors, as they grow, and we must confront ourselves again, or watch a life again be snuffed out.

On climate change.  To deny the potential of climate change is ridiculous.  To say that humans are having an effect on climate change is obvious, as we can not walk across sand without leaving footprints, and we have been heavy walkers most of our existence, so it is not surprising.  However I do not believe we have as much effect as we might imagine.  The increase in carbon dioxide may be as likely a result of breathing as of industrialized development.  PSI of people in general is high compared to previous times, so it goes without saying that we are obviously having an effect on the overall environment of the globe in general.  The long term effects of our existence is negligible as we have only been here such a short amount of time.  The decrease in oxygen in the atmosphere may have a more devastating effect on humans than on the entire environment.  Still we are likely to adapt to some degree, although how is yet to be seen. Still the fact that the climate is changing is a no b

I'm back online, and I have a bunch of stuff to publish, now all I have to do is get it from the written page to the web.  Will be posting lots of stuff this week, so hope you are ready for this. Peace JD

This is a good article about a worthwhile project.  I have my reservations about the use of the lathe, but I will address that in another post at another time.  Plans for this lathe are available online. A pedal-powered lathe in SketchUp | SketchUp Blog : 'via Blog this'

How long before you slip into the comma that is comfortable and sirene?  How much must you see of what is before you, before you start to disbelieve.  Is there something I can get you that will pacify your fears?  Would you feel so much better now, if the time were past, and you were no longer uncertain of what was coming. You know you are passive, reacting to your environment.  That there are those that know this as well, and have used that to their advantage.  Oh, yes, I say monsters do exist, they are inside everyone of you, and with just the right conditions, even the most passive aggressive will find it in themselves to destroy the illusion, they worked so hard to build. Ah, but yet I realize your fears will keep you sane.  This is what you do to prevent yourself from getting burned.  When that fails you take the heat to heart, and hope you survive another day.  It is only a matter of time after all before we all pass away.  To know this insignificance is far too close to the

So hey now what is going on out there in the real world. I have been so long here behind this screen, that I am not sure what is happening and what is just internet cream. I live in this virtual world now, with flashes of the real, when I go out to the store once in a while, but most times I see nothing but the same old rhythm and blues. I remember years ago, when I was not so cold, I used to shout about the boot stomping hypocrites and politicos. I incited the kids of the day to go out into the streets and take back their neighborhoods. This was a reaction to a bunch of shootings that occurred on S. Colvin Street back when I was just a babe of 24 years of age. I was writing full time, and had a small music production business (we did not find much worth producing then, bad timing), so I was deeply involved in the arts of the area, and in reading poetry whenever I could get away with it. Those were the days my friends, I thought they would end in my demise, but it turns out I am

This is a comment on a blog I read recently,  Daily Grail , which dealt with the " Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn ", an old order magical cult which gathered much of the early mystic text into a single order.  It is a piece to the entire puzzle that is religion, magic, cultism, and man.  The reason I began this post with this comment is because it demonstrates the point many people make, that there is a group or groups of people who are controlling the world, or at least society anyways. Posted by emlong on 15 Jun 2014 at about 16:23. Or the major string pullers and troublemakers would like the general population to think the "elites" have occult powers and that "it is futile to resist." They nurse several such psyops in civil media - another one is that they can inject thoughts into our brains with cell phone towers. As an orgoniteer I know full well the neurological damage being done inadvertently with such electropollution, but I seriously doub

I think I am going to post some pictures later with my post, so I can share with everyone including those that follow me on pinterest, as well as just to work on my picture editing skills.

In the world there is magic.  Not the type that you would think of, that type where you perform some spell and you get something in return.  I do not discount that type of magic, for it is around us, be it positive thought, prayer, wishing, or any of those types of things, you put enough effort towards something, and willing to make the necessary sacrifices and it is likely you will get what you want.  What I am referring to is the type of magic that is, and all you have to do is notice it. You could call it wonder, you could call it many things, but it is all around us, and we have to but take notice for it to unfold before your very eyes.  We tend to look at things from the perspective of how we can use the world around us.  What value has the land, the trees, the fruits and the nuts, for our own purposes, without realizing that they are not for us, but for the purposes of reproduction of the species.  This escapes us, for we are far too focused on purpose for our own personal g

I am caught between two worlds, one is the future world of technology, and all the wonder it creates, and the second is the natural world and the wonder that it is.  I know that these two worlds are not exclusive of each other, but they are not inclusive of each other either. While I marvel at the simple beauty of the natural world, and wonder where the magic is, I can not help myself thinking that it is the old world, and the new world is not a natural world.  The new world is a world of things, man made things, and to some degree this includes food.  Why is it so wrong to think that we can create our own food from elements and not have any connection to the source material.  What is the truth behind genetic engineering of nutritive materials. There seems to be this transition between the new and old world right now, like we are on the edge of going over to a new age, an age of the future, where even our food is replicated, not made from the natural world, but from synthesized

The problem I have with advice, especially writing advice is that it usually is something that I think at the time makes a lot of sense, but when it comes to actually writing, generally I find that the "rules" by which I am supposed to be constrained to, do not work for me.  I get that often my writing could be better if it were a little more concise, or less wordy anyways.  Often though that is the tone of the character, and to trim them too much would disrupt their voice.  I only hope that what I write will be enjoyable to the readers, and sometimes I do not even care about that. Funny how sometimes I write because I know that other people will read it, and sometimes I write only because I want to have this other voice.  I do not know if one mood is better than the other, but I do know that at the end of the day, it is really quite the same, for me anyways. For me writing is like breathing, I do it because that is what I do, though it is not always done well, sometimes

Top 10 Fantasy Writing Tips From 'Game Of Thrones' Author George R.R. Martin | Lifehacker Australia : 'via Blog this' I have never read any of his books, but this is some of the best advice I have read in many years.  Most writers that give advice just talk about the need for character development, to show don't tell, and the other standards of fiction writing.  George R.R. Martin presents a very lively format of the same advice, that is provided with good examples, and just enough wit to make it readable, without sounding pretentious. I may have to actually read some of his work, though it is unlikely I will ever watch the show. Peace JD

Bits and Pieces of a Shattered Mind This is a bit from a work I am working on, that hides very little, and is not meant to be accurate, but just what is left of my works that have been waiting all these years.  So do not take it personal, it is as the title states bits and pieces of a Shattered Mind. Sometime around the age of eight or so, maybe a little sooner, I met a kid from California, he lived next door to the house of my babysitters house.  Well I did not really get along well with other kids, but this kid was different at least and that was something.  I was what you might call an introvert, and my babysitter Elsie used to have to force me to go outside.  Not because I did not like the outside, two reasons really.  On the other side of the kid from California lived a family, and they had a couple of children that were just a little older than us, and they liked to do mean things to people, especially little kids.  So that was about our connection, comrades against the loca

From bits and pieces of works: The trouble with morality, is that it is subjective to the place and time of its origin.  Morality is a code of a society that dictates its reactions to certain situations and conditions that occur and from that, the society makes judgement of how that suits its moral codes.  Were these codes not malleable, it would be justified, but they are not set in order, but from whim and whimsy of the “fathers” (generally patriarchal societies are concerned) that determine what is moral, what is divine, and other such measures of value given to the members of the current or even future societies that adopt the same code of morality. Works in progress, or bits of insight.

Every thousand years or so, give or take a millennium or two, the civil leaves the civilization and what remains is the pitiless and pathetic.  From these dregs of the unfortunate few there arises new ideas of what comprises the reality that we see and what is really worth remembering.  It is but a time of stone and tears, a slow parade of fire and fears, and from the ashes rises anew, the next coronation of the king or queen, who charges us with zeal and idolatry.  I do not believe we have seen this yet, it is closer at hand than we would like it to be, but we are not nearly advanced enough to be on the brink of utter destruction quite yet. I've read the signs and they point to the coast, from which may come a terrible host, full of cheer and good tidings, and yet he appears not to be quite ready to reveal.  It is not certain that it will not be the sister we all dread, the ill fated whore from whom we were all bred, or it might be sullen boy who is to be trumpeted as the next

This is a great video, but there is so much left unsaid.  I sure hope more will come from it.  Amazing talent this man, then and now.

Off the Cuff Many things through these windows pass, from darkness into light, the struggle and the strife that is and always has been life.  The competition of things, the creations and destruction, duality of existence continues unabated, endless, like a steam, until no rain falls, and the spring dies.  There remains the desert, the barren nothing, inhabited only by the destitute, are we there yet, not quite, but the mind of man is soon too likely to be barren of any thought that is greater than this. For all the years spent wondering, and then wandering, and finding no greater value than I found from the first, there is a lesson to be learned, if one is willing, and the mind is forgiving of the errors that it has transgressed in the past.  I mind not this passage of time, it is without issue, it crawls behind me, and I still continue from day to day, ever striving to obtain peace, that elusive peak from which gurus obviously can see the desire of their charges below. Only thi

I often sit here wondering, in the infamous words from the Unicorn “what have you done, what have you done, no matter, what is done is done, and all things are as they will be”  Okay those are not the words exactly, that is  really some of the words from several passages, but like Alice in Wonderland, the Unicorn is a animated movie that carries with it far more weight than it is given. This is a great quandary, is it not, what have you done, and what is the impact of that on your life?  Is there anything that outside the inside mind that could have influenced your life, made it different?  I do not know the answer, but I seem to continue to ask the question. I think perhaps too much about God, and wonder is it a necessary evil to have such a thing, or even acknowledge such an intelligence outside the mind.  Is there an intelligence outside the mind, and does it have influence on this or any other world.  I know the God of which the religions speak of is not the God of the mind

Fill your ears with music, it matters not what it is, as long as it is true to you.  There is no greater grace there by that I go, as to know the beauty of music so profound.  As the true talent seems to be fading away, perhaps the future holds even greater promise. While the mind is filled with music it can not receive errors, it must listen to the music that fill the ears.  I need little, but music is one thing I can not live without.  Perhaps they can take all the music away, but my memories will suffice, if they must.  All the world becomes more beautiful when filled with the sound of music. Please let me go gentle into the the goodnight, as my time will come, all too soon I am certain, but I will go easy to this sleep if but to hear the universe for the tune that must hum within the stars. While there is better music than some, and I have my issues with modern music, mostly the lack of talent that seems to be, I still realize that if nothing else it is at least music in som

So the next question in this quest is to see if there are any old textile mills that could be put back into operation.  The criteria here is that they must be able to produce cotton denim fabric of at least 18 oz, but more would be better.  They should also be able to produce jersey knit fabric, and a lightweight denim or standard shirting weight fabric.  It may be that two mills will have to be located.  They should also be near the primary source of material if possible, so for cotton that would be south of the Mason Dixon line. I am also looking at a woolen mill, but that is something completely different, although related. Once the fabric is sourced, made and ready for production, it will be necessary to find a factory that can produce the products.  There has to be some old clothing factories that would have most of the tooling for the purposes of making jeans, t-shirts, and button down shirts, or maybe two or three would have to be put to use.   Machines can be brought back

This one is straight from the if it is good enough for me category. I have been looking for a pair of "jeans" lately.  What I want is a pair of Levi® 501™ button fly jeans unwashed, with a boot cut, like I used to get.  Not going to happen, they do not make them anymore. So now I am stuck with either accepting what they make, or getting something else.  Well I also have another option, that is buying some jeans at the thrift stores, but that is only a temporary solution at best.  Second best option is buying the jeans made for Tractor Supply Company®, but they are again just a stop gap, not the real choice.  The true choice is to make my own. I have some criteria I am very serious about.  One they have to be of good weight material, at least 16 oz denim, but 18 to 22 oz would be better.  They have to be unwashed.  Why unwashed, well because I want them to wear longer, so I do not want them to be pre-washed improperly.  The pockets  have to be riveted.  They need to be

I am so frigging tired, I can barely hold my head up to write this.  I have been writing other things mostly in the mornings, before starting to work.  Now with the approach of summer weather, it may be better that I should work in the morning, and then write in the afternoon.  The trouble is that I have lately not got much sleep, and with this and the stresses we have been through recently, it has been hard to sleep well.  Last night I slept well, but got up too late, so much of the day was gone before I could even get started. Still I have had some time to think about things, because often I have to sit and watch the sheep while they graze outside the fence.  So much idle time provides me with insight sometimes on things I observe, and while I have written about them on paper, I have not as yet committed them to the blogs.  This is something I should do soon, but for now, I am really just writing this to try and keep myself awake.  Now why would I do this, and publish it to the bl

I will no longer be posting all my blogs to the various services, instead, either you find it or you do not.  I am going to post to my blogs as I choose, when I choose, and with no set pattern.  If you are really interested in what I have to post, subscribe, if not so be it, thank you all for stopping by. Peace JD

I spent some time talking with Mosey, a local member of a local Amish community around where we live now.  He is a very fascinating person, and I find that talking with him I recapture some of that old feeling of being the observer.  I like that, and it reminds me that I can still be outside the self, apart from the people. People used to fascinate me.  They used to be something I would find interest in, but only from a distance.  When I let them get close it destroys the effect, and I have to feel, and that makes it difficult to remain objective.  Objectivity is of utmost importance to me, it allows me to see better, and not be involved with the vision.  I think that may be a psychopathic tendency that is latent in everyone, it only is recognized in some, and in others it can be hyper active, but they do not do well in this world generally, or really well, if they are in the right social cycles. I am careful to understand myself as much as anyone else, so as to ensure that I will

Careful thoughts have gone into this, that I know not of, wonder where it leads, from end to end and if this fantasy that appears like reality is really what it seems. I have listened to the heads of one side and the heads of the other, with very little conclusive results.  There is no God, but that does not negate the existence of gods, such as they are.  Through all of this the use of darkness as a metaphor is often overused, and I do not believe that it signifies much beyond the absence of light, the visible light.  What used to be easy to see, has been clouded by perception and perhaps even by age and cynicism.  Maybe I have chosen to cease to believe in something that at one time appeared to be more real, but not seems like there is no evidence of it at all.  Yet there is still that niggling of a feeling that I am certain that there is something I have forgotten, that only awaits my awaking from the slumber I have chosen to live within. It became rather difficult to continue

Warning ridiculous rant coming in this post! I am done with this bullshit software.  I am not logging in to another site, if I have logged in once, that should do it, if your algorithm can not handle security better than that, then do not penalize me.  If I use a different device, my laptop or my tablet and I have used them before do not ask me to log in, I am done with that.  If you ask me to log in, I am done with the service, I do not need your shit. The other thing is that if I am doing something, I do not care what else you are processing, as the user, I am the only thing that matters, therefore focus should remain with what I am requesting.  If I move my cursor, follow it, wait for me to do something, do not change my focus, do not insert windows, do not send alerts, unless I am not doing something.  I have four fucking cores on this thing, you would think at this point in computing they could at least devote one core to user input and paying attention to user actions.  Do n

As time goes on I realize that it has been a lot of mind, and very little spirit that has gotten us where we are.  However the advances have mostly been those of the spirit, and it is when we use mind that we maintain, and often lose, albeit at less rate than if we lose spirit. I think a lot about God, gods, and all the trappings of various religions, and they all have their trappings, but even with the most sublime of them, they fall short of the mark.  They try to order chaos, which is about like trying to make water go uphill.  Yes it is possible to make water go uphill, but is it really worth it.  With the exception of a well, which is of course an uphill climb for water, is it really worth the effort to go against the flow of water? I have not allowed the spirit to move me of late, it has all been in the head.  While to be truthful it is all in your mind, the heart has no function but to pump blood (water), there is something to the literary sense of heart, that is moves you,

What the fuck is wrong with today, all I want to listen to is music from my youth.  You know it is a bad day when you start out with "Bartender Blues" by the Possum (GJ), and move right on to Willie Nelson's "You Were Always on my Mind" in remembrance of a sheep. Then I sit here and listen to James Taylor, Crosby, Stills and Nash, right on into Cat Stevens, and I am doing the dishes.  Reading some of the comments I wonder, what the hell is wrong with people, I have had my fill of people, just do not want to interact with them anymore.  Sometimes it seems like everyone is okay on the web, and then I think, well shit they are out there, in their little fox holes, waiting for the next troll to land a near miss. Watching the "Voice" the other day, I realize that most of the people I know as great artist would not make it in today's music scene.  How sad would it have been if we had never had Jim Croce, or Jimi Hendrix?  Certainly would not have th