I was Thinking, or Not

I do not know if there is a more dangerous statement than "it seemed like a good idea at the time".  Not just pertaining to governments, though that is usually where it is most often used and most often the most devastating, but even in our own lives, it can be as damaging.  It is right up there with "I'm sorry", and other such statements. While there are certainly some genuine people out there that have had many of those times, and they really are regretful for the consequences of their previous actions, it does not negate that in almost every case, it only demonstrates a lack of forethought.  You can can worry things, but worry is not the same thing as forethought.  It is not planning, or fear based, it is thinking, thinking, what will this do for my grandchildren.  That is simple to do, takes almost no time at all, and if it turns out that the risk is not worth the reward to your grandchildren, well it is not probably worth the effort or risk to you either...

Everything is about sex, these days, or so it seems.  Really it always has been, and why shouldn't it be.  Let us face it, sex is what we are here for.  All the virtuous and righteous morality stripped away, like any other animal on this rock, we are here to reproduce little carbon copies of our species.  This is how we survive, our immortality is our offspring.  Offspring created through the process of procreation, or sex. No matter how we attempt to hide the basest of emotions, we humans are sexual creatures.  So it only makes sense that when advertising came along it would play to that emotion.  What is love, it can not be defined, but we all know what sex is, even as a child you have a vague idea, and as you grow older and are bombarded with sexual images and references, you start to get the purpose you were brought into this world for.  All the work we do, is so we can have sex. It does not matter if you only have sex once, the drive to ...

Wow, what a morning huh, I have written three other blog post, two pages of my novel, and now I am through with my work, for the most part.  I have some other work to do, but that is really waiting for other things, like the guy to deliver the hay, and such. So now I am free to explore the where-with-all of things that may be happening, but I feel like doing nothing of the kind.  Do you ever just not want to know what is outside your little world.  Ah, maybe too many do, but alas, that is not my fate, for I am faced with the world and it pushes its face into my vision, no matter how well I shutter my windows, and lock all my doors. I have not even given my email all but a cursory glance, just to see if there was anything that was important there, and oh yea, it is Sunday, so no there was not anything at all of interest. So, what is of interest today?  Hmm, not much, I think I will troll around the internet, looking for some interesting sites of no consequence,...

Cigarettes and Coffee represent a large portion of my nutritional intake.  That may not seem all that surprising to those that know me very well, as prior to my giving up drugs and alcohol, they were my only intake aside from the copious quantities of marijuana, beer and often wine and some sort of spirits. Now do not get me wrong, I have always eaten, most often for as much the appeal of the food, rather than the actual health, as I prefer those foods that are more or less than healthy depending on your particular perception of what is healthy.  I have always prefered food that was local (for the freshness more than the economics or popular reasons), that was free of additives, and usually raw or nearly so.  This is not to say that I did not eat a lot of fast food, I have definitely ingested my share of that tainted disgusting waste product that I should be quite toxic by now, still, I prefer to this day, a good diner burger over a mass produced burger.  Unfortun...

Things just get messed up, and you are like, what can I do?  I do not know what to do, just sit here, nothing I can do, once again, and again.  You ever feel like you just can not seem to get past a point in time, like it seems to haunt you, like an old ghost. I'm just dancing around the subject, trying not to come to grips with truths that so often keep coming back to me in the flesh of someone else.  Watching these others implode around me, and thinking, what can I do, keep on keeping on, but I am at the end of that road too. So I run to something certain, an escape into something I can be sure of.  It is the only thing that I can grasp, that does not come with the regret for what I should be doing.  In the end it all seems like I might just not admit that all its ever been is me in my own way.  I will have to move over and let the man go through, or accept that I have nothing left to leave to anyone. Do not know what the hell I am talking about, i...

Just a little lesson before I go, well I am not really going anywhere soon, but you know it sounded good in my head. Anyway here is a little bit of advice.  Be careful who you talk to, they just might be smarter than you, I know I have run aground this many times myself.  While it is generally good to converse with those that are smart, getting into a debate with them is an exercise in futility.  Of course there are times when we all need such a humbling experience, and as a student of life, I welcome such discord, it reminds me of who I really am. Well that is about it, just a little thing to keep you thinking, because when the mind stops turning the heart will have no reason to go on pumping blood to the brain.

Whilst I am on a roll, I might as roll with it... hmm, let us play with this scheme. The birds are in the counting house, counting out there troubles, while the king is in the pantry, shooting syrup and honey.  The maid is in the way, and she will have no suitor, for the queen is secretly desiring her long lost first desiring.  And I am sitting in the tower, with fools for which there is tiring, for there were no remorse for his majesties humor retiring.  The princess and the prince, poor sots, are the ones that learn to fall from the grace that should they be supporting. I look upon these fools before me, and wonder how they wail, with their tongues cut out they moan so loud it did not serve it purpose.  You must be dumb to have come to this place with earnest, for nothing is true, it is all reviewed by the countess and her cooky.  The lamb is dead, he is offered to the pheasant and the serpent, but the lion lives, for the time it seems, by hiding in the t...

It is almost 6:30 in the morning and here I sit waiting for the coffee, and wondering why do I do nothing all the time.  My nothing is interspersed with a few things here or there, a load of dishes, taking the dogs out, feeding the sheep, those sorts of things, but most of the time it is just nothing, a whole lot of nothing. We all do too much nothing.  I notice that with everyone one I meet.  I ask them what is up, they say nothing really, just the same old thing, a whole lot of nothing.  We all want to seem busy, but we really do not know how to be really busy.  We are unoccupied, even at our jobs, we are not tasked with much more than just sitting there doing nothing that matters anyways. I remember reading in the Tao "do nothing and nothing will be undone" and for the life of me I could not figure out what the hell that meant.  It took me a long time of contemplating it before I really began to even get the most rudimentary understanding of the mea...

Merry Elfing Christmas to me, since no one would buy me anything from my Steam wishlist, when Skyrim went on 24 hour sale today for $4.99, I bought it for myself.  I know that was selfish and all, since we can not buy anyone else Christmas gifts, and we need every penny for paying our land payment, but sometimes you have to just do what have to do to get by, and owning Skyrim for me is what I have to do. So you can all just quit your bitching, because I will pay for it later, and I just do not care.  Stupid little thing, wish I could have gotten it from someone, but since there is no one who would do such a thing for me, I must do as I must for myself once in a while. Now I have to work twice as hard to make up the difference.  How about you all donate $5.00 to the cause, and we will send everyone something, I do not know what, maybe a bar of soap, or maybe something else, a copy of my book of crappy poetry, who knows, I am sure it will be something that will be wort...

For some reason the whole God thing has come up a lot today, like it has to be dealt with.  While I am slowly churning through the information that is available to me through the various sources, the truth is I guess I have to at least address this from my own perspective for the moment. I do not actually understand the God.  I can understand how it could be created, but I do not understand how it still has any value to people.  I do get that there is something that is significant about this world we live in, but that it is something more than just a unlikely coincidence is far too unlikely.  Think for a second how unlikely is your birth, with one egg and perhaps half a million sperm, the pairing that makes you happened.  If that is not enough evidence of random choice, I do not know what else can be said. If it were not for the evidence to the contrary, I would not have such an opinion.  The God should reign in his minions as they are so far out there...

I was going to write on some of this, but I am just not in the mood to tackle such subject, being more in the mood to rant about things that are far less meaningless. Of note I have discovered something I already knew, I need to have a place where no one can reach me to write, because I can not stand the interruptions, and no one, not chatters on the web, not people calling on the phone, not even my lovely wife, or dogs can seem to understand that I do not want to be disturbed when writing.  It aggravates me to the point where I will give up writing entirely.  I do not at this time know how to deal with this, but as it is, I will strive to get up early, and write first thing in the morning, so I can at least not harbor such feelings towards my wife. I would have been a great writer had I never decided that I needed to be part of this fucked up society.  Being that the case, I will have to learn a new behavior, and modify the way I live to accommodate the conditions o...

From the Line of Shit Department: Boeing 737 Factory to Move to Clean Energy Now really the headline alone is out of context, and if you only read the headline, you would not get the rest of the story, you would really think that they are going to clean up their act. And now the rest of the story , or as much as is needed. " Boeing said it plans to buy renewable energy credits to replace fossil-fuel power at the factory in Washington state where it assembles its 737 commercial airplanes. " There you have it, the truth, they are not doing what they say, they are buying credits from the government so they can do whatever they please.  Nice gesture, and I am certain it will give "joy joy feelings" to everyone who is interested in "green business", but there is very little in the reality of actual clean energy there, just payola. Another Quote: " The aerospace company and the utility, Puget Sound Energy, said the plan will move the ...

At what point does it just stop being.  I am certain I can feel it winding down, but I just don't know to what.  I think maybe that we are headed to a deeper meaning of oppression than ever has been known on this planet, at least in our recorded history. The more I look around the more I realize that the tyranny that we have known in the past is but a taste of what is to come.  That the golden rule has yet to be applied in the manor that it will be applied in the future.  I just wonder when that will be applied, there is not enough information to determine this.  I do not think it will matter how much money you have, but that may help some, so the amassing of money may be important, it might not be.  I am thinking that gold might be important, but even that might not make much difference, unless you have a way to protect it. The signs are aligning as such to show me that we have not seen the worst of it yet.  That we will at least see yet another ...

This has some things that concern the farm as well, but in general it really is just me bitching for no good reason. This is how I think things through, by writing them out, so I can get the thoughts out of the stream of my mind which is almost always murky and clouded with ordinary thoughts. So… while this does not seem like anything to anyone else, it is a stream of thought that to me represents the closest I can get to clarity. That said I am thinking about the eBay and Amazon thing.  I have a bunch of stuff here, mostly a lot of old toys that are in fairly rough shape.  While in some cases I am sure that any kid would love these toys (if they were not in the consumer households), but I do not know if they would fair well on ebay.  I am still trying to figure that out.  I do not know a lot about toys in general, I am better versed in antiques.  That said, even there I have only a moderate knowledge, but I do have a greater appreciation, so the knowl...

How in the hell in this material based work a day world do we find peace. I have listened to the gurus and priest, the thinkers and philosophers, and they all say the same thing, let go of desire and you will find peace.  I believe them, I believe that we are all capable of such, but how, when so much is focused on just making ends meet. I have bills to pay, so I have roof over my head, land to till, and food to eat.  Unless I can not pay for those things, I have nothing.  Never mind the bills I pay so I can write on this tablet, post it on the web, well those are luxuries that I prefer, but could do without if I had to.  No matter what that still leaves the house payment, the food, and health care, so how does one find peace when everyone requires such things to just survive.  It is not like I can just live on the land, I must own it first.  Even if I pay off the cost of the land, pay off the bank, I still owe taxes, so there is no such thing as free la...

I spend entirely too much time wondering what others do for their bread, when it really does not matter much at all to me.  I just drive through the rain, and get wet, As long as I still do that which I do, and you all watch this self destructive soul dissolve into insanity, then the entertainment never ends does it.  Would you like to see that, bet you would pay the promoter if he told you I was performing at three. And these fools here do not know the psychopath that lives next door, with his hats and slow words, sometimes big eyes, telling too much.  I look north, would you ride with me, no I won't use breaks, it takes the thrill out of everything. I think maybe you all are well enough paid to understand that I have nothing to give you, because you deserve not my sympathy.  I could do the video thing, but words have always been my thing, but I have abandoned them, in stead of leaving me behind.  I was sore for quite some time after you stung me, but the...

What the fuck are you all doing with your time, wasting it on worthless pursuits for the "All Mighty Dollar", be his holy honor.  Let your gods be what they will, let me alone.  I need none of your sympathy.  If it were not for the pursuit of happiness I would not give a dam, about anyone, but that is not how it turned out.  Now I have commitments and considerations that would not have even mattered before. I am just fucking tired, worn to the bone, with worthless effort.  How much can one clan really expect, for the value of one's own hands.  The value of toast, versus cake, which has more, it makes me just want to brew up some swill beer and just lie down in the mist of I just do not give a shit anymore.  Did I ever?

I spend too much time wondering what is working, when what I need to do is just keep on doing what I do, and let the numbers fall where they lay.  Throw on some real good Jam music, and the world full of things and numbers and money just falls away, and I can focus on what is really important. The blind can see that there is no need for sight to feel.  Sometimes you just have to trust that what you are doing is the right thing.  I see so many people doing so much, most of it is not what it should be, but it is what it is, and that is what they can do.  The days of things being what they should be are gone, it is now a time of doing what one can to just get by.  I know that if I play all those social games, and run around and do those things, that I will earn the respect of a bunch of people I will never really know, and therefore will never really trust.  The issue of trust has come to mind lately, what happened to it.  If you extend trust to someon...

You can definitely tell that technology has reached a plateau, when there really seems to be no real forward progress.  It is either that or it has become imperceptible. "Back in the Day" as I now often say, but hate the statement immediately after I have said it, so really I do not say it anymore, I used to surf a few choice porn sites.  You may ask why am I telling you this, is not this a glaring example of way too much information.  Well the truth is, porn sites have always bored me, and I have always only felt pity for the performers.  I did once carry on a rather lengthy conversation with one performer for a couple of days, even gave her some money once, but then I remembered that she was a performer, and this was all just an act to elicit my not so hard earned cash. So, yea, anyway, I used to surf a few of these sites and look into their code, back when I used to code that is.  They were always on the cutting edge of code, especially for security. ...

Utah to BLM: Rein in your cops | The Salt Lake Tribune : 'via Blog this' I am very concerned with the west, it doesn't look good from here.  I am looking a little more into this.