I was Thinking, or Not

Occasionally I read a local paper, and wonder who writes for these things.  I am just old enough that I remember when newspapers and local rag sheets were still bigger than the internet.  Hell I wrote for a few local sheets myself back then, but those were different times.  Today I read a review and wonder, really does the reviewer get paid for this.  It is not that I find the online reviews much better, just that I feel I guess that printed ones should be better than the online ones. Now I should not say much, I have not written in quite some time, much more than my web logs and a few reviews on various sites like Amazon and the like, it is just really, food blogs are better, how did that happen.  I expected I guess that newspapers would still uphold a bit of decorum and not just produce a printed version of a blog. I remember saying back, oh way back, when computers were still mostly business machines and geek toys, that this will change the publishing...

There are so many things we need, silly little things like a bunch of glass pipettes, and other such things.  I can only begin to figure it all out.  I really wish Arleta would help me, but she is not very good at these things, especially when it comes to money.  She is good at spending it, on stuff, but only as an impulse, not as part of a longer term plan.  She does not really seem to grok long term well.  She also seems to have a tactile issue, she has to touch what she will buy, even things that do not matter so much.  She would rather buy from a store than online, because she can touch the package.  She also seems to suffer from long term projects, things that take longer than an afternoon or two is hard for her to grasp.  She prefers short term projects, a day or two at the most.  She can do them, she can wait, she is able to see the future, but she prefers the here and now, the intimacy of immediacy.   That is another subject...

So I am playing this game, Roads of Rome III.  Well it is an alright game, I guess, not Skyrim by any stretch of the imagination, but alright just the same.  It is a resource management game (time management), which means you have to marshal your time and your resources to accomplish your goals.  So I wonder, why can’t we do this in real life? This is set in Roman times, and I realize we can not do this anymore, times have changed.  This is a completely different world today, or is it.  Is it that it is different, or has the ways changed. In this way you are controlling a property, and through various resources managing them to accomplish the goals that are set by the game.  There are very different things at play here.  One you can not just have people go out and do work for you, you have to pay them, at least a minimum wage.  Well not just a minimum wage, but a minimum wage, disability payments, workman’s compensation payments, unemplo...

Tobacco Arleta (my wife) and I smoke cigarettes, a bad habit, but that is what it is.   We consume about a pound of tobacco a week, on average.  That means we would have to purchase 4 pounds per month, or 48 pounds per year.  To be on the safe side we would really need about 5 lbs per month, or 60 lbs per year.  In terms of green tobacco we grow ourselves we would need at least 5 times that much to compensate for a 85% loss in water through the drying process.  We can purchase it for about $20.00 a pound in bulk (includes freight) on line, so our monthly cost is about $100.00 per month, while our annual cost is about $600.00 per year (not including supplies).  If we were to purchase a years supply we could probably cut the cost to about $400.00 per year.  We also use tubes, which are paper tubes with a filter already attached, and we use about 2.5 a week, which equals about 2.5 cartons of cigarettes a week.  Each box of tubes cost about $...

Why am I here, where I am at, this place, domesticated dogs, small children, these trappings of an ordinary life.  I dip for a moment into the silence of the mind, the horrid places that at once are subtle and sublime, only to be reminded by the pater of chatter that I am not what I used to be. That was then, and what use do you serve me now, with the wind beneath your wings, away and doing things.  Even then, of what use were you to me.  There was a brief moment when I entertained the thought of your physical space.  A fleeting moment when a spark was ignited, almost to a flame, quelled with steel and presence of mind.  Even now, I could see no other purpose for your existence but for the loin of your thighs. This is said with the knowledge that you are far too far from the point of return, and I am far too far from caring any more.  Then what of all these other mundane entertainments.  What are they but distractions from the simple and pure. ...

Just a bit of personal information.  I am an introvert who likes to play the extrovert through any means that allows me to maintain a safe distance from the society that I am forced to exist in.  That said, it may explain some things, most likely it only leaves more questions.

Finally after 5 days of viewing reviews and looking at hundreds of options, I decided on a new pen.  Amazing I know, why should I agonize over something like a pen, when I have a computer.  Well I will get into that later. First I had pretty quickly narrowed it down to the Parker IM and the Lamy Safari as far as the pens went.  Both of them seem to be good pens for the money, really costing about the same.  They both require a converter to allow them to be used with an ink bottle, so that was not a consideration.  It really came down to, the Parker looks a little more classic, while the Lamy looks a little more modern.  I prefer the more classic look of the Parker, that is all that can be established right now.  My hope is that it will perform well enough that I will never have to make the comparison, but I might anyway someday. I agree with many people, these are decent pens for the money, I am not expecting above $100.00 feel or perfor...

Which pens are best? - Slate Magazine : 'via Blog this' This is a reference article that will be included in my search for a writing pen.  It is a very entertaining look at pens, with some interesting information.

In the end the warrior rejected me, and I rode away in silence, to the hum of the sunset.  It was but to this, I was given, as they that would have my coin would close in on me, to only find nothing, and for this they would have persecuted me, had I not been so lacking of fear that their munitions had no effect on me. I pushed on, into the darkness, deeper than before I had traveled.  Deep within the recess of the interior self I lingered, waiting, until at some point, it would claim me completely.  With no one left to save me from myself, it was inevitable that I would become depraved and anti-social. My hair is grey, it grows still, although my body wilts from age.  The soft tendrils of smoke that still rise from the chimney, are all the evidence that remains of my existence.  This is how it should be, alone and distant from humanity, as it should have been from the very beginning. That is all I can give to you, my long tim...

I just want to forget, all that is behind me. I don't want to think, feel or care, but slide into the darkness. I am forced into this existence, this place where I must pretend to like my place. I have had my life dictated by children, and I am through with it. I just want to forget, and be forgotten.

I ponder the case of the human race, why we haven't cease to exist already.  The simple fact is that we will not consider that which we have lost or even stand to lose until it is all behind us.  We are retroactive in our behavior, reacting to situations, not acting upon the conditions that before us are often so obvious that are obviously not to be believed. The state of our food, the condition and supply of our water, these things should be of considerable concern to us as humans.  These should be foremost upon our minds as we go through our lives, and consider the lives of our children and grandchildren.  They are but the most obvious of conditions we should have acted upon years ago, for I fear that it is too late. We are quite likely headed on a crash course to mass extinction  the human race and quite likely many other species with us, are very near the point of no return.  We may have passed that point already, it is hard to tell....

So, I noticed that my readership has plummeted in the past few days, and well I haven't written anything in the past few days, so I guess that makes sense.  I don't always have something to say about everything, or at least anything good to say.  I often could be very critical about things, but I am trying not to slip back into that cynical self that existed once before. What am I saying, have you read the blog lately, really, because if you had you would realize that I am just as cynical as I always have been, only less vocal about it.  Or in the case of the web log, less prolific about it. On other things, I still have not yet figured out the Google+ pages, or communities, much less a way to use the hangouts to have a live poetry reading.  What I wanted to create was a place on the web where people could come, hang out, drink coffee (coffee would be a requirement, or should be) and talk about literature, poetry (sometimes barely considered worthy of ...

Ok, so no progress on any writing today.  Well I posted to three blogs (counting this one) with an actual total of about 6 post (including this one).  I also commented on a few things on G+ as well, so that is sort of like writing anyway.  Have you ever seen any of my comments? So yea, well not a very productive day, and as far as most things are concerned it is really just about over.  I guess I will try for a better day tomorrow, I am just too nerved up today to do anything it seems.  Maybe I will look at editing some things, no, even that takes just too much calm and that is hard to come by.  It took me three days of pretty intensive calming just to get myself set so I could produce what I did yesterday, and now I think it is going to take that much again.  I don't know why I can not seem to write in the amid of the turmoil and stress, I used to, I used to thrive on it.  Well not really, I was always calm, enhanced often by drugs and alcohol...

This here is a small snippet from my current work, while it is in draft.  It may be quite some time before this one actually sees publication as it is a long work, and there is most likely many revisions yet to go even after I have completed the first or second draft.  This is just to see if there is any interest out there, well no not really, it is just because I wanted to, but I will most likely release a few other choice chunks as it develops, nothing to telling, but just enough to show the color of the canvas. Coincidentally at this point I don't even know if this will make it to the final copy, as it is very raw, and nothing is quite yet set in type so to speak.  So here it is, please comment if you find it at all interesting, as any interest will be met with my usual response, which often is none at all, but maybe, just maybe, if I feel giving, I might respond.  The most likely response will be the release of additional bits and pieces, which might happen an...

I am using this as some excuse to write, for I have far too many excuses not to write.  Although this will not produce any work of consequence, it will hopefully assist in breaking the habit of not doing anything. I make no promises that I will write anything consistently, but that for the moment I will write this and everything thereafter will be completely accidental. As if it isn't already apparent, I am reading "The Beautiful and Dammed" by F. Scott Fitzgerald, again. With my older eyes, and by the standards of what I have lived these 20 some odd years since last cracking the cover of this tome, it appears as much more of a novel novel than it did the first time.  The book could be described as the inspiration of Seinfeld, as it is a book that is much to do about nothing.  Still as I wade my way through this literary classic, and knowing the author, both as a child of literature and now as a fervent consumer of literature, it un...

I got up at 7:00 this morning, because I wanted to have time to myself, because that is when I write the best.  It is now 7:50, and I am just now starting to write in this blog.  Most of the time has been spent catering to the dogs.  As much as I like the little dogs, and I do like them, they are consumers, consumers of time, consumers of food, consumers of needs. The computer is the same way, I turned it on at about 7:15 this morning, and it was at least a 1/2 hour before I was able to really use it, even if I could have.  Most of that is my fault, I run lots of scans at start up, virus scans, clean-up scans, and I also have lots of start-up programs, like networked drives and cloud services. In fact I do a lot of things that get in my own way.  I have yet to figure them all out, but they are there because I am for the most part my own worst enemy.  Just like this blog which is rambling and headed no where, I get in my own way.  I should be talki...